3:20 PM

Ignorance = Bliss

I am nearing the end of my pregnancy. This is NOT the time for anyone to tell me their horror story. Brian has already taken away all of my pregnancy related books except for the breastfeeding one. We have done everything we need to do to prepare ourselves for birth. Classes, reading, doctors, tours. We feel we are ready for the big day and are trying to get into the positive mindset. I need a little more coaching than Brian :)

So the past three days it has been horror story after horror story. My girlfriend's csection opening got severely infected and she might have to have another surgery. I chalked this up to bad doctor and bad hospital. Then today someone comes over to talk to my coworker and I about claims and in passing she says, "Oh is that for that newborn that died?" I let out a little moan. She forgot I was pregnant. Mmmmmm hmmmmmmmm. She says just "plug" my ears so she can tell the story. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Not only do I work in insurance where very sad stories passover my fingers each day but I am also 30 weeks pregnant and a graduate with a medical degree. I know what can happen. I wish I didn't. I hate that my mind is constantly wandering to the "what ifs." It's no longer the "what ifs" about me... my main worry is for him... I want to think we have all our bases covered and we've had a pretty smooth pregnancy. We aren't high risk. We have great prenatal care and an amazing staff at the hospital. It is at this point I wish I was ignorant. It really does make everything better.

I remember when Olivia was in the hospital with her bad kidney infection. I remember trying to control my expressions as the doctors did the tests and explained what was happening. No need to freak everyone else right? Now my pregnancy emotions are out of control so all of the claims and stories remind me to another scary part of childbirth. Ugh. I think I should use this excuse and duck out of work early :)

The one thing I do know is that we have the Lord on our side. He's watching over us and guiding our every step. Brian jokes that when he walks into Christ hospital it's like hearing Jesus speak. He makes me laugh. I don't think I'd be able to make it though this without our faith. All those pregnant women who do it alone or without amazing men like Brian have my sympathies!

Moral of the story: Keep your yucky pregnancy/birth stories away from me!

Vent over.