I have some built up non-baby related frustrations.
Don't call the office and tell me you lost your insurance card but refuse to give me your social because I might "steal" it. Maybe you forgot I already have it on file since I'm asking you for it... that means I would be LOOKING you up by it. Duh.
Don't call and say, "Umm I have a bill here. Why didn't you pay it? I pay (enter X amount) a month for insurance and you never pay anything. This is ridiculous. Blah blah blah." Let me use my superpowers to look up your ID number, date of service and particular bill you are talking about. Never mind it says right on the letter you are looking at THIS IS NOT A BILL. We are an insurance company, we don't send you bills.
No my insurance is not better than yours. Trust me. You have a better plan than 85% of Americans.
No, we didn't just change the rules. You have been on the plan since 2005. You've had this done before, paid the same way, but yes we changed the plan.
No I cannot give you information if you are not on the plan. Tell your 24 year old son to call in himself and add your name to the list or look it up himself.
We do not take the money out of your check for insurance your WORK does. Don't call and yell at me for some payroll issue.
It is not my fault that you named your children Janeri and Janeria. Yeah there claims are going to get crossed. They are one letter off! Seriously.
Don't call unless you have the information available. Sure, I'll wait 5 minutes while you pull it up. I totally believe you when you say you "just had it here."
Don't call here if you just submitted a claim less than 30 days ago. If we paid something 2 days ago wait for the check and the EOB! Of course it would make your job 100Xs easier if I recite every piece of information you'll receive in 3 days.
To the stupid receptionist downstairs. Thank you for not loaning me a visitor badge the one time I leave mine sitting on my desk. Even though I'd bring it right back down it was less hastle for YOU to call upstairs and get one of my friends to come down and let me in. Thank you for being so considerate. By the way, you should spell check before you send out emails to everyone in the building. Seriously. Spell check.
Use a cough drop. If your cough continues 3/4 of the year then see a doctor.
Leave your nail clippers at home. Gross. This is not your bathroom.
If you ask me to help you on something please make sure the information you have in the system is correct. I love looking like an idiot because you didn't update the information I am using.
Please air yourself out after smoking. I love getting into an elevator after a group of 4 just took a smoke break together. You stink. Don't worry my very pregnant self likes to hold my breath all the way up to the 3rd or 4th floor.
I like to dip my pretzels in my pop. My sister does it too. I didn't know it was strange. I go to the bathroom all the time. No, I'm not getting ready to blow. Yes, I'm still here. Please don't ask me weird questions about my pregnancy... that is not elevator appropriate conversation.
I feel a whole lot better. :) Vent over.
Thank you Ashley for help compiling my list. I'm sure we could go on for days!